How many Blues fans does it take to screw in a light bulb? None...they will do it next year.


HA!! If you can't laugh at your self...chances are someone is doing it for you.

Why is Bill Cosby a Blues fan? He loves it when someone goes down in the first round.

A Blues Fan's light bulb never goes out.

Turk Sanderson wrote:A Blues Fan's light bulb never goes out.

It is too early in the season for you to be this good.

CaptSMRT wrote:

Turk Sanderson wrote:A Blues Fan's light bulb never goes out.

It is too early in the season for you to be this good.

Mid-season form?

Turk Sanderson wrote:

CaptSMRT wrote:

Turk Sanderson wrote:A Blues Fan's light bulb never goes out.

It is too early in the season for you to be this good.

Mid-season form?

You are scraping February.

There was a couple in the audience on Wed night who were blowing lines off of their table. Finally something entertaining happened at one of my shows.

Turk Sanderson wrote:

CaptSMRT wrote:

Turk Sanderson wrote:A Blues Fan's light bulb never goes out.

It is too early in the season for you to be this good.

Mid-season form?

Certainly not post season form.....

Dreamed Freddy Krueger saw me naked, it was pretty gruesome, he threw up all over the place, said he wasn't coming back. I got a letter from his lawyer, that said I wasn't to dream within 500ft of Freddy or face jail.

stlblues1226 wrote:

Turk Sanderson wrote:

CaptSMRT wrote:
It is too early in the season for you to be this good.

Mid-season form?

Certainly not post season form.....

Thanks...I appreciate that.

You could reboot any movie with the Rock and it would be better. Imagine "The Godfather" can you smell what Fredo is cooking! Betrayal.

You certainly have a fruitful imagination, Capt. What kinda fruit is that, anyway?

JMC-STL wrote:You certainly have a fruitful imagination, Capt. What kinda fruit is that, anyway?

I never do Rock jokes on stage, however, I do enjoy them. Call me crazy...I have slowly worked my way up in comedy, hopefully when Helium opens I can get some hosting gigs and get paid to tell people about my dick.

CaptSMRT wrote:...I have slowly worked my way up in comedy, hopefully when Helium opens I can get some hosting gigs and get paid to tell people about my dick.

I look forward to hearing that short tale.

JMC-STL wrote:

CaptSMRT wrote:...I have slowly worked my way up in comedy, hopefully when Helium opens I can get some hosting gigs and get paid to tell people about my dick.

I look forward to hearing that short tale.

I would rather talk about Moon landing hoax theories..or why Superman 3 is the greatest movie of all times...but you have to give the audience what they want.

CaptSMRT wrote:

JMC-STL wrote:

CaptSMRT wrote:...I have slowly worked my way up in comedy, hopefully when Helium opens I can get some hosting gigs and get paid to tell people about my dick.

I look forward to hearing that short tale.

I would rather talk about Moon landing hoax theories..or why Superman 3 is the greatest movie of all times...but you have to give the audience what they want.

Free tickets to anything else?

CaptSMRT wrote:

JMC-STL wrote:

CaptSMRT wrote:...I have slowly worked my way up in comedy, hopefully when Helium opens I can get some hosting gigs and get paid to tell people about my dick.

I look forward to hearing that short tale.

I would rather talk about Moon landing hoax theories..or why Superman 3 is the greatest movie of all times...but you have to give the audience what they want.

So if the subject matter you've reluctantly chosen is truly want your audience wants, shouldn't you be the warmup act at a male strip joint? Or is "warmup" too flattering for your circumstances?

The chicks will cream when they get a hold on this greased lightening.

CaptSMRT wrote:

JMC-STL wrote:You certainly have a fruitful imagination, Capt. What kinda fruit is that, anyway?

I never do Rock jokes on stage, however, I do enjoy them. Call me crazy...I have slowly worked my way up in comedy, hopefully when Helium opens I can get some hosting gigs and get paid to tell people about my dick.

So does talking about your little tale ever get you a little tail?

HA...girls love it. Not for nothing...I am not a dick joke guy. I say weird stuff....like "Freddy Krueger saw me naked and now I am not allowed to dream within 500ft of him." I tried to do nothing but clean jokes for a while...and I noticed people were wanting sex jokes.

Come out to Wed Night open mic at Valley Park Funny Bone...bring a date...you will get laid I promise. I have a joke that is worded to make it highly more likely that a girl will be receptive to the old mouth party. Trust me.

I'll be at the Corner Keg in Highland...hopefully some of these IL hicks will come out for some jokes about sex with E.T.

CaptSMRT wrote:I'll be at the Corner Keg in Highland...hopefully some of these IL hicks will come out for some jokes about sex with E.T.

Holy shit...what a nightmare. I fucking hate bar comedy.

Wheelchairs are heavy. I was in Forest Park standing in the Science Center Parking lot when I heard a noise that sounded not unlike a wounded rabbit. I am a GOD DAMN rabbit lover, so I went to investigate. Did I find a rabbit? No. Did I find an electric wheelchair with a 250lb head sitting in it? Yes. "HELP!" This chair was dangling over the highway, a part of me thought...maybe this is GOD's plan, he maketh 250lb heads and he taketh them in mysterious ways. Who am I to argue with GOD? Of course I made the wrong decision and decided to help. Let me make this abundantly clear, electric wheel chairs are heavy when they are empty, and they weigh even more when they are occupied by giant heads with flipper hands and feet. That was the easy part. Now the head is all excited and tell me it's chair is broke and that I must fix it. Have you ever tried to explain to a giant head that you are not a wheel chair repairman? She wanted me to learn. I have no idea why I noticed that her control stick was out of reach from her flipper, but I did. Maybe I am a wheelchair repairman. As fast as I "fixed" this heads chair it took off at full speed, and I think it gave me the middle flipper. I'm not going to call myself a hero, but I sure felt like one.

Imagine this guy wearing a floral moo moo.

Be a light in the dark.

I think Havlat could be a great addition to the power...I mean. I nailed Batman.