Now that I'm retired, I can spend more time appreciating the principal value of this mega-thread. Can somebody remind me what exactly that is?

JMC-STL wrote: Mon Jan 16, 2023 1:51 pm Now that I'm retired, I can spend more time appreciating the principal value of this mega-thread. Can somebody remind me what exactly that is?

This is a comedy gold mine… we are the slave miners.

Turk Sanderson wrote: Mon Jan 16, 2023 7:44 pm

JMC-STL wrote: Mon Jan 16, 2023 1:51 pmNow that I'm retired, I can spend more time appreciating the principal value of this mega-thread. Can somebody remind me what exactly that is?

This is a comedy gold mine… we are the slave miners.

I'd rather dig for boogers. They'd be more comforting for The Cap'n's audiences than one-liners a/b Jesus with a celery-shitting hooker. I'm just not feeling the vibe lately.

JMC-STL wrote: Mon Jan 16, 2023 7:58 pm

Turk Sanderson wrote: Mon Jan 16, 2023 7:44 pm

JMC-STL wrote: Mon Jan 16, 2023 1:51 pmNow that I'm retired, I can spend more time appreciating the principal value of this mega-thread. Can somebody remind me what exactly that is?

This is a comedy gold mine… we are the slave miners.

I'd rather dig for boogers. They'd be more comforting for The Cap'n's audiences than one-liners a/b Jesus with a celery-shitting hooker. I'm just not feeling the vibe lately.

Seems pretty funny the way you put it.

I have trouble with grammar. The only reason I can spell "Step Daughter Caught In A Clothes Dryer" is because of porn

I kind of look like a grade school basketball coach. I look like I enjoy talking to sixth graders about the benefits of a zone defense. I look like I do. I hate kids. A friend of mine was stabbed by his kids basketball coach. I am mad about the crime and what she did, but you have to admire her desire to win. The worst part was when she stabbed all of the other kids because they were witnesses, the night before the big game.

CaptSMRT wrote: Wed Jan 25, 2023 7:32 amI have trouble with grammar. The only reason I can spell "Step Daughter Caught In A Clothes Dryer" is because of porn

Please don't diminish the role that pornography has played in the basic education of certain sectors of the world's male population from the early 1950s to 2016. After that, they stopped reading the articles & signed up on OnlyFans. Damn you, Hugh Hefner, for leaving us so soon!

CaptSMRT wrote: Thu Jan 26, 2023 6:17 pm I kind of look like a grade school basketball coach. I look like I enjoy talking to sixth graders about the benefits of a zone defense. I look like I do. I hate kids. A friend of mine was stabbed by his kids basketball coach. I am mad about the crime and what she did, but you have to admire her desire to win. The worst part was when she stabbed all of the other kids because they were witnesses, the night before the big game.

You look more like a cross between the “My Pillow” guy, and any (pick one) WWE manager .

Turk Sanderson wrote: Sat Jan 28, 2023 8:28 pm

CaptSMRT wrote: Thu Jan 26, 2023 6:17 pmI kind of look like a grade school basketball coach. I look like I enjoy talking to sixth graders about the benefits of a zone defense. I look like I do. I hate kids. A friend of mine was stabbed by his kids basketball coach. I am mad about the crime and what she did, but you have to admire her desire to win. The worst part was when she stabbed all of the other kids because they were witnesses, the night before the big game.

You look more like a cross between the “My Pillow” guy, and any (pick one) WWE manager .

I see a little Roy Biggins from the 1990s sitcom Wings in him, too.

JMC-STL wrote: Mon Jan 30, 2023 12:08 pm

Turk Sanderson wrote: Sat Jan 28, 2023 8:28 pm

CaptSMRT wrote: Thu Jan 26, 2023 6:17 pmI kind of look like a grade school basketball coach. I look like I enjoy talking to sixth graders about the benefits of a zone defense. I look like I do. I hate kids. A friend of mine was stabbed by his kids basketball coach. I am mad about the crime and what she did, but you have to admire her desire to win. The worst part was when she stabbed all of the other kids because they were witnesses, the night before the big game.

You look more like a cross between the “My Pillow” guy, and any (pick one) WWE manager .

I see a little Roy Biggins from the 1990s sitcom Wings in him, too.

I look like the My Pillow guy never got any rest. Don't buy my pillow... its mice in a mesh laundry bag.

So, do you attract more hecklers who want to be contributing members of The Stand-Up Comedy Clan when you get the late set (after they're all liquored up), or in an early set (when they can clearly remember the lines they practiced - and/or snorted - in the club restroom)?

JMC-STL wrote: Mon Feb 06, 2023 7:47 am So, do you attract more hecklers who want to be contributing members of The Stand-Up Comedy Clan when you get the late set (after they're all liquored up), or in an early set (when they can clearly remember the lines they practiced - and/or snorted - in the club restroom)?

That is not an easy question to answer. I believe society has regressed since the pandemic. Social media has contributed more than its fair share as people feel entitled to comment and argue any time they hear something they have been conditioned by their political/religious cult to react to. I don't have a real problem with hecklers... I redirect them... or spin whatever stupid shit they have to say into something entertaining. That girl who was talking to me in the clip was really cute... I welcome that brand of heckler.

CaptSMRT wrote: Mon Feb 06, 2023 11:35 am

JMC-STL wrote: Mon Feb 06, 2023 7:47 amSo, do you attract more hecklers who want to be contributing members of The Stand-Up Comedy Clan when you get the late set (after they're all liquored up), or in an early set (when they can clearly remember the lines they practiced - and/or snorted - in the club restroom)?

That is not an easy question to answer. I believe society has regressed since the pandemic. Social media has contributed more than its fair share as people feel entitled to comment and argue any time they hear something they have been conditioned by their political/religious cult to react to. I don't have a real problem with hecklers... I redirect them... or spin whatever stupid shit they have to say into something entertaining. That girl who was talking to me in the clip was really cute... I welcome that brand of heckler.

I thought you handled her outburst quite smoothly. In a non-"Did your huge breast just brush my flabby arm?" sorta way.

And whatever happened to the days when we could all rally around a common cause for national unity - like 9/11, and the Space Race, and enslavement of lesser human ethnicities?

JMC-STL wrote: Mon Feb 06, 2023 12:39 pm And whatever happened to the days when we could all rally around a common cause for national unity - like 9/11, and the Space Race, and enslavement of lesser human ethnicities?

People are too fractured and absorbed in their need to only be confronted with things they agree with... the world has been turned into Jones town.

JMC-STL wrote: Mon Feb 06, 2023 12:36 pm

CaptSMRT wrote: Mon Feb 06, 2023 11:35 am

JMC-STL wrote: Mon Feb 06, 2023 7:47 amSo, do you attract more hecklers who want to be contributing members of The Stand-Up Comedy Clan when you get the late set (after they're all liquored up), or in an early set (when they can clearly remember the lines they practiced - and/or snorted - in the club restroom)?

That is not an easy question to answer. I believe society has regressed since the pandemic. Social media has contributed more than its fair share as people feel entitled to comment and argue any time they hear something they have been conditioned by their political/religious cult to react to. I don't have a real problem with hecklers... I redirect them... or spin whatever stupid shit they have to say into something entertaining. That girl who was talking to me in the clip was really cute... I welcome that brand of heckler.

I thought you handled her outburst quite smoothly. In a non-"Did your huge breast just brush my flabby arm?" sorta way.

Dude... she came back the next week... if she shows up on Thursday I will offer her a beverage.

CaptSMRT wrote: Mon Feb 06, 2023 2:44 pm

JMC-STL wrote: Mon Feb 06, 2023 12:39 pmAnd whatever happened to the days when we could all rally around a common cause for national unity - like 9/11, and the Space Race, and enslavement of lesser human ethnicities?

People are too fractured and absorbed in their need to only be confronted with things they agree with... the world has been turned into Jones town.

I stuck with the Moonies. Better kimche.

CaptSMRT wrote: Mon Feb 06, 2023 2:45 pm

JMC-STL wrote: Mon Feb 06, 2023 12:36 pm

CaptSMRT wrote: Mon Feb 06, 2023 11:35 amThat is not an easy question to answer. I believe society has regressed since the pandemic. Social media has contributed more than its fair share as people feel entitled to comment and argue any time they hear something they have been conditioned by their political/religious cult to react to. I don't have a real problem with hecklers... I redirect them... or spin whatever stupid shit they have to say into something entertaining. That girl who was talking to me in the clip was really cute... I welcome that brand of heckler.

I thought you handled her outburst quite smoothly. In a non-"Did your huge breast just brush my flabby arm?" sorta way.

Dude... she came back the next week... if she shows up on Thursday I will offer her a beverage.

You're reading the room wrong. She just wants your Thursday slot to launch her career as a slut. But I guess you could use that to your advantage.

JMC-STL wrote: Mon Feb 06, 2023 4:07 pm

CaptSMRT wrote: Mon Feb 06, 2023 2:45 pm

JMC-STL wrote: Mon Feb 06, 2023 12:36 pm
I thought you handled her outburst quite smoothly. In a non-"Did your huge breast just brush my flabby arm?" sorta way.

Dude... she came back the next week... if she shows up on Thursday I will offer her a beverage.

You're reading the room wrong. She just wants your Thursday slot to launch her career as a slut. But I guess you could use that to your advantage.

I am a dream maker.

I am talking with one of my fellow comics about compiling an album. I am curious if there are any subjects that you would consider essential to share with the public. You only get to try this once.

Just make us laugh. At something other than the album sales numbers.

JMC-STL wrote: Tue Feb 07, 2023 9:13 am Just make us laugh. At something other than the album sales numbers.

Good one... I have avoided this as long as I can. I think albums are kind of a dead format. People want little bits in between TikTOk videos of kids dancing and food they will never eat.

Too bad you missed out on being the new spokesperson for M&M's. The Cap'n featured during the Super Bowl would have cemented your position as *The* BNF Darling ...