Holy shit!!! What a night!!!

CaptSMRT wrote: Thu Dec 28, 2023 11:10 pm

A real bully would rape the torturers!

Turk Sanderson wrote: Fri Dec 29, 2023 1:14 am

CaptSMRT wrote: Thu Dec 28, 2023 11:10 pm

A real bully would rape the torturers!

Father stabbers...

The Bible is weird... its all give to thy neighbor... and be nice to animals unless you eat them... and also... one time GOD got really mad at the cyclops giants, and rape gangs, he killed them with a flood.

CaptSMRT wrote: Mon Jan 01, 2024 8:01 pm The Bible is weird... its all give to thy neighbor... and be nice to animals unless you eat them... and also... one time GOD got really mad at the cyclops giants, and rape gangs, he killed them with a flood.

He was killing off the Bigfoots.... got most of them, and if He could make lightning go where He wants it to go, He'd finish them off. You're reading the wrong bible.... you should be reading this one.

Turk Sanderson wrote: Mon Jan 01, 2024 10:23 pm ... You're reading the wrong bible.... you should be reading this one.
tb1.jpg

Is that bible available for purchase in Books on Tape media? Me 'n' Mrs. JMC might enjoy a good comedy schtick on our road trips. We tried The Capn's YouTube channel, but we kept losing signal & interest not long after we hit the highway. Must've been the constant stream of drink servers blocking the camera that spoiled the continuity of entertainment.

It occurred to me... the Bible is essentially the first episode of Ancient Aliens. GOD comes from space... makes life on Earth... then gets really anal about picking apples.

CaptSMRT wrote: Tue Jan 02, 2024 1:22 pm It occurred to me... the Bible is essentially the first episode of Ancient Aliens. GOD comes from space... makes life on Earth... then gets really anal about picking apples.

It was Adam got Anal, and in the biblical sense... the apple story is just a metaphor for butt-fucking... it's an easier way to explain it to little kids, who don't even know what the other hole is for.

In seventh grade I made a substitute teacher quit by faking a seizure. Lets see Tom Hanks do that! Where is my Oscar!!!

CaptSMRT wrote: Thu Jan 04, 2024 3:31 pmIn seventh grade I made a substitute teacher quit by faking a seizure. Lets see Tom Hanks do that! Where is my Oscar!!!

The Academy just sent this over.

You can't argue with this kind of authenticity

HAHAHAHA what a fucking tool. who does he "promote" or "produce"? let's see their stellar set.

T.C. wrote: Mon Jan 08, 2024 3:28 pm HAHAHAHA what a fucking tool. who does he "promote" or "produce"? let's see their stellar set.

The power of the Bully has no limits!!!

I hate listening to racists jibber jabber about their bullshit. Its always... Hitler's dog had his own hat collection, and those people are all criminals. I hate racist women even more... because they kind of seem liKe they dont really understand why they are racist... and they do it to keep their husbands from hitting other women.

CaptSMRT wrote: Wed Jan 10, 2024 11:39 amI hate listening to racists jibber jabber about their bullshit. Its always... Hitler's dog had his own hat collection, and those people are all criminals. I hate racist women even more... because they kind of seem liKe they dont really understand why they are racist... and they do it to keep their husbands from hitting other women.

This is SO tragically accurate. Only the "hitting" they're trying to eliminate is their husbands assaulting them.

JMC-STL wrote: Wed Jan 10, 2024 3:57 pm

CaptSMRT wrote: Wed Jan 10, 2024 11:39 amI hate listening to racists jibber jabber about their bullshit. Its always... Hitler's dog had his own hat collection, and those people are all criminals. I hate racist women even more... because they kind of seem liKe they dont really understand why they are racist... and they do it to keep their husbands from hitting other women.

This is SO tragically accurate. Only the "hitting" they're trying to eliminate is their husbands assaulting them.

I strive for accuracy. Racist women seem like they do it for the fashion.

CaptSMRT wrote: Wed Jan 10, 2024 4:27 pm

JMC-STL wrote: Wed Jan 10, 2024 3:57 pm

CaptSMRT wrote: Wed Jan 10, 2024 11:39 amI hate listening to racists jibber jabber about their bullshit. Its always... Hitler's dog had his own hat collection, and those people are all criminals. I hate racist women even more... because they kind of seem liKe they dont really understand why they are racist... and they do it to keep their husbands from hitting other women.

This is SO tragically accurate. Only the "hitting" they're trying to eliminate is their husbands assaulting them.

I strive for accuracy. Racist women seem like they do it for the fashion.

Racist women are as thoughtful in picking their prejudices as they are in picking their men.

I'll be hosting at the Funnybone St Charles Feb 8-11th.

I'll be hosting at the Funnybone St Charles Feb 8-11th.

CaptSMRT wrote: Sun Jan 21, 2024 6:26 pmI'll be hosting at the Funnybone St Charles Feb 8-11th.

So does "hosting" mean you don't do your gig, you get to touch the microphone more often, and you get more exercise stepping on & off the stage every night? Does it pay better, like a promotion to Comedy Foreman, Second Shift? Do they make you wipe the tables down after closing, or isn't Funnybone-St. Charles that classy? At least one of those questions is serious.

JMC-STL wrote: Mon Jan 22, 2024 7:05 am

CaptSMRT wrote: Sun Jan 21, 2024 6:26 pmI'll be hosting at the Funnybone St Charles Feb 8-11th.

So does "hosting" mean you don't do your gig, you get to touch the microphone more often, and you get more exercise stepping on & off the stage every night? Does it pay better, like a promotion to Comedy Foreman, Second Shift? Do they make you wipe the tables down after closing, or isn't Funnybone-St. Charles that classy? At least one of those questions is serious.

A lot of that... it pays less... I get free beer all night, which is a loss for the club since I can drink more than the average human. I try to help turn over the room because I appreciate servers. I can do whatever material I want. I choose to be conservative since its not my show. I try to really project the whole host thing and use my stage hypnotism tricks to help the audience be more relaxed and engaged. I leap on and off stage because I have that gear. Funnybone St Charles is a fun place... its new, and clean... the sightlines are good, and the drinks are affordable. I will be getting my feature set there soon, which is when I get to do whatever I want.