As seen in the booming downtown business district of Danville, Illinois, this past weekend ...
Re: Branching Out Now, Turk?
7"FIND YOURSELF A DIFFERENT PERCH"? Everyone feels like a fish outta water at Turk's Discount Church.
Last edited by JMC-STL on Wed Oct 31, 2018 9:55 am, edited 1 time in total.
Re: Branching Out Now, Turk?
8Back in the concentration camps, I told them Catholics that I'd own them someday.JMC-STL wrote: Wed Oct 31, 2018 8:29 am "FIND YOURSELF A DIFFERENT PERCH"? Everyone one feels like a fish outta water at Turk's Discount Church.
Re: Branching Out Now, Turk?
9Your obsession with alleged Papist misdeeds is unhealthy at best. Absolution is just a dark closet, a wired kneeler & a dusty grillwork away. Who needs a discount, when you can pay just 10% for your salvation?Turk Sanderson wrote: Wed Oct 31, 2018 9:46 amBack in the concentration camps, I told them Catholics that I'd own them someday.JMC-STL wrote: Wed Oct 31, 2018 8:29 am"FIND YOURSELF A DIFFERENT PERCH"? Everyone feels like a fish outta water at Turk's Discount Church.
Re: Branching Out Now, Turk?
10I only charge 5% and there's no broom closet meetings. The fact that you show up for church is all the absolution that you need. Your children are safe because they are under your supervision at all times.JMC-STL wrote: Wed Oct 31, 2018 10:00 amYour obsession with alleged Papist misdeeds is unhealthy at best. Absolution is just a dark closet, a wired kneeler & a dusty grillwork away. Who needs a discount, when you can pay just 10% for your salvation?Turk Sanderson wrote: Wed Oct 31, 2018 9:46 amBack in the concentration camps, I told them Catholics that I'd own them someday.JMC-STL wrote: Wed Oct 31, 2018 8:29 am"FIND YOURSELF A DIFFERENT PERCH"? Everyone feels like a fish outta water at Turk's Discount Church.
Re: Branching Out Now, Turk?
11I pray for the lost souls of the children who were under your supervision.Turk Sanderson wrote: Wed Oct 31, 2018 10:29 amI only charge 5% and there's no broom closet meetings. The fact that you show up for church is all the absolution that you need. Your children are safe because they are under your supervision at all times.JMC-STL wrote: Wed Oct 31, 2018 10:00 amYour obsession with alleged Papist misdeeds is unhealthy at best. Absolution is just a dark closet, a wired kneeler & a dusty grillwork away. Who needs a discount, when you can pay just 10% for your salvation?Turk Sanderson wrote: Wed Oct 31, 2018 9:46 amBack in the concentration camps, I told them Catholics that I'd own them someday.
Re: Branching Out Now, Turk?
13Is that two different sizes of baptismal pools out front to choose from, or are our eyes being deceived by simple perspective?
Re: Branching Out Now, Turk?
14When your dunk is over, you get to keep the pool... show me another church that does that!JMC-STL wrote: Wed Oct 31, 2018 3:31 pm Is that two different sizes of baptismal pools out front to choose from, or are our eyes being deceived by simple perspective?
Re: Branching Out Now, Turk?
15Church of the Immaculate Backstroke: You get a free stationary pool with every 10,000 Hail Marys. Installation not included.Turk Sanderson wrote: Wed Oct 31, 2018 4:29 pmWhen your dunk is over, you get to keep the pool... show me another church that does that!JMC-STL wrote: Wed Oct 31, 2018 3:31 pmIs that two different sizes of baptismal pools out front to choose from, or are our eyes being deceived by simple perspective?
Re: Branching Out Now, Turk?
16We don't do Hail Marys at Turks Discount Church... she's got enough troubles being a virgin and a mother at the same time... she don't need to hear about our problems.JMC-STL wrote: Wed Oct 31, 2018 8:18 pmChurch of the Immaculate Backstroke: You get a free stationary pool with every 10,000 Hail Marys. Installation not included.Turk Sanderson wrote: Wed Oct 31, 2018 4:29 pmWhen your dunk is over, you get to keep the pool... show me another church that does that!JMC-STL wrote: Wed Oct 31, 2018 3:31 pmIs that two different sizes of baptismal pools out front to choose from, or are our eyes being deceived by simple perspective?
Re: Branching Out Now, Turk?
17But I thought the BVM had turned her life around, after she made that cameo appearance with Jane on The Cw.Turk Sanderson wrote: Wed Oct 31, 2018 8:31 pmWe don't do Hail Marys at Turks Discount Church... she's got enough troubles being a virgin and a mother at the same time... she don't need to hear about our problems.
Re: Branching Out Now, Turk?
18"Holy Mary, Mother of God..." So she's Jesus' mother and God's too??? I'll bet her dad didn't buy that story.JMC-STL wrote: Tue Nov 06, 2018 1:31 pmBut I thought the BVM had turned her life around, after she made that cameo appearance with Jane on The Cw.Turk Sanderson wrote: Wed Oct 31, 2018 8:31 pmWe don't do Hail Marys at Turks Discount Church... she's got enough troubles being a virgin and a mother at the same time... she don't need to hear about our problems.