Turk Sanderson wrote:

JMC-STL wrote:The Parker Brothers are calling their lawyer from their graves right now, Turk.
Just trying to help them keep up with the times...the original is getting a little stale.
Expect a knock at the door in the coming days.

God's will be done!

I got 500 views on this joke...which is pretty good considering...500 is a lot.

CaptSMRT wrote:I got 500 views on this joke...which is pretty good considering...500 is a lot.

What joke?

JMC-STL wrote:

CaptSMRT wrote:I got 500 views on this joke...which is pretty good considering...500 is a lot.

What joke?

Bankruptcy was invented by the Parker Brothers to sell more Monopoly games.

CaptSMRT wrote:

JMC-STL wrote:

CaptSMRT wrote:I got 500 views on this joke...which is pretty good considering...500 is a lot.

What joke?

Bankruptcy was invented by the Parker Brothers to sell more Monopoly games.

This is no joke, either ... Monopoly Was Designed to Teach the 99% About Income Inequality

JMC-STL wrote:

CaptSMRT wrote:

JMC-STL wrote: What joke?

Bankruptcy was invented by the Parker Brothers to sell more Monopoly games.

This is no joke, either ... Monopoly Was Designed to Teach the 99% About Income Inequality

I'm telling ya. don't park that car on Baltic! And Magie showed her income as "0" .... I wonder if she declared bankruptcy.

Is it enough to think you are a hypochondriac, or do you have to share needles with one to catch it?

CaptSMRT wrote:Is it enough to think you are a hypochondriac, or do you have to share needles with one to catch it?

You don't catch hypochondria...hypochondria catches you.

Turk Sanderson wrote:

CaptSMRT wrote:Is it enough to think you are a hypochondriac, or do you have to share needles with one to catch it?

You don't catch hypochondria...hypochondria catches you.

Not if I vape enough hand sanitizer.

CaptSMRT wrote:

Turk Sanderson wrote:

CaptSMRT wrote:Is it enough to think you are a hypochondriac, or do you have to share needles with one to catch it?

You don't catch hypochondria...hypochondria catches you.

Not if I vape enough hand sanitizer.

See what I mean? Now germophobia has caught you.

Why do we say we caught an illness anyway...to catch implies that you intentionally try to procure something that isn't in your possession.... like a ball, an animal, a taxi ride, a criminal (if you're a cop), etc... bad shit catches you...it's just that simple. Instead of saying "I caught a cold", we should say "a cold caught me"....when the coppers pinch a thief, he doesn't say "Shit! I caught the Police".

Turk Sanderson wrote:Why do we say we caught an illness anyway...to catch implies that you intentionally try to procure something that isn't in your possession.... like a ball, an animal, a taxi ride, a criminal (if you're a cop), etc...

The Brits started it ... or the camels ...

If a guy catches a case of the crabs, is this the scenario?... He was standing on the street corner, waiting for the light to change, when a delivery truck rounds the corner and a box falls off right into his arms.... on the side of the box is stamped CRABS. He says to himself "Oooh seafood!" He runs off into the nearest alley and opens it up...nothing. He kicks it, stomps on it, and goes on to work. By that afternoon he's walking around the office scratching his crotch something fierce. He goes to his doctor after work to find out what's going on, and the doctor says "You've caught a case of the crabs", to which he replies."so what, there wasn't anything in it!"

Nope.

Turk Sanderson wrote:Why do we say we caught an illness anyway...to catch implies that you intentionally try to procure something that isn't in your possession.... like a ball, an animal, a taxi ride, a criminal (if you're a cop), etc... bad shit catches you...it's just that simple. Instead of saying "I caught a cold", we should say "a cold caught me"....when the coppers pinch a thief, he doesn't say "Shit! I caught the Police".

Why doesn't anyone ever catch a cure?

CaptSMRT wrote:

Turk Sanderson wrote:Why do we say we caught an illness anyway...to catch implies that you intentionally try to procure something that isn't in your possession.... like a ball, an animal, a taxi ride, a criminal (if you're a cop), etc... bad shit catches you...it's just that simple. Instead of saying "I caught a cold", we should say "a cold caught me"....when the coppers pinch a thief, he doesn't say "Shit! I caught the Police".

Why doesn't anyone ever catch a cure?

They claim that they "got over it". If a bug hitches a ride on you...and makes you feel like shit for a week...and then leaves... I'd say he got over on you.

Turk Sanderson wrote:

CaptSMRT wrote:

Turk Sanderson wrote:Why do we say we caught an illness anyway...to catch implies that you intentionally try to procure something that isn't in your possession.... like a ball, an animal, a taxi ride, a criminal (if you're a cop), etc... bad shit catches you...it's just that simple. Instead of saying "I caught a cold", we should say "a cold caught me"....when the coppers pinch a thief, he doesn't say "Shit! I caught the Police".

Why doesn't anyone ever catch a cure?

They claim that they "got over it". If a bug hitches a ride on you...and makes you feel like shit for a week...and then leaves... I'd say he got over on you.

Love is a sickness, and the cure is marriage.

CaptSMRT wrote:

Turk Sanderson wrote:

CaptSMRT wrote:
Why doesn't anyone ever catch a cure?

They claim that they "got over it". If a bug hitches a ride on you...and makes you feel like shit for a week...and then leaves... I'd say he got over on you.

Love is a sickness, and the cure is marriage.

You should make that into a Valentine card, and send it to your favorite dwarf sex contractor.

Belief vs reality is the modern human struggle...for instance...I believe onion rings are a vegetable, my cholesterol level believes they are a gateway to arterial sclerosis. I believe I am attractive...women believe something different. Belief is not dependent on reality.

CaptSMRT wrote:Belief vs reality is the modern human struggle...for instance...I believe onion rings are a vegetable, my cholesterol level believes they are a gateway to arterial sclerosis. I believe I am attractive...women believe something different. Belief is not dependent on reality.

It's not a lie, if you believe it...
George Costanza

Turk Sanderson wrote:

CaptSMRT wrote:Belief vs reality is the modern human struggle...for instance...I believe onion rings are a vegetable, my cholesterol level believes they are a gateway to arterial sclerosis. I believe I am attractive...women believe something different. Belief is not dependent on reality.

It's not a lie, if you believe it...
George Costanza

“I'm not upset that you lied to me, I'm upset that from now on I can't believe you.” ― Friedrich Nietzsche

Liar, liar....The Castaways
[youtube][/youtube]

C-3PO was passed over for the Oscars again, and he is on the damn statue. Looks like Hollywood is guilty of Robo-phobia. I can't say that I blame them I was sexually assaulted by a robot when I was a kid...(jerked off watching Robo-Cop).

CaptSMRT wrote:C-3PO was passed over for the Oscars again, and he is on the damn statue. Looks like Hollywood is guilty of Robo-phobia. I can't say that I blame them I was sexually assaulted by a robot when I was a kid...(jerked off watching Robo-Cop).

You’re just fuckin’ yourself when you do that.

Here is a piece of advice you can live by....when you are driving to Effingham....drive to Effingham...it helps.

Thank GOD every road in Illinois is connected.

If I want to build a new city in Illinois, all I have to do is build a Casey's, and the locals will gather homes around me like moths to a light.