Re: How many Blues fans does it take?

#13
JMC-STL wrote:You certainly have a fruitful imagination, Capt. What kinda fruit is that, anyway?

I never do Rock jokes on stage, however, I do enjoy them. Call me crazy...I have slowly worked my way up in comedy, hopefully when Helium opens I can get some hosting gigs and get paid to tell people about my dick.

Re: How many Blues fans does it take?

#15
JMC-STL wrote:
CaptSMRT wrote:...I have slowly worked my way up in comedy, hopefully when Helium opens I can get some hosting gigs and get paid to tell people about my dick.
I look forward to hearing that short tale.
I would rather talk about Moon landing hoax theories..or why Superman 3 is the greatest movie of all times...but you have to give the audience what they want.

Re: How many Blues fans does it take?

#16
CaptSMRT wrote:
JMC-STL wrote:
CaptSMRT wrote:...I have slowly worked my way up in comedy, hopefully when Helium opens I can get some hosting gigs and get paid to tell people about my dick.
I look forward to hearing that short tale.
I would rather talk about Moon landing hoax theories..or why Superman 3 is the greatest movie of all times...but you have to give the audience what they want.
Free tickets to anything else?

Re: How many Blues fans does it take?

#17
CaptSMRT wrote:
JMC-STL wrote:
CaptSMRT wrote:...I have slowly worked my way up in comedy, hopefully when Helium opens I can get some hosting gigs and get paid to tell people about my dick.
I look forward to hearing that short tale.
I would rather talk about Moon landing hoax theories..or why Superman 3 is the greatest movie of all times...but you have to give the audience what they want.
So if the subject matter you've reluctantly chosen is truly want your audience wants, shouldn't you be the warmup act at a male strip joint? Or is "warmup" too flattering for your circumstances?
Last edited by JMC-STL on Fri Oct 16, 2015 7:44 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Re: How many Blues fans does it take?

#19
CaptSMRT wrote:
JMC-STL wrote:You certainly have a fruitful imagination, Capt. What kinda fruit is that, anyway?

I never do Rock jokes on stage, however, I do enjoy them. Call me crazy...I have slowly worked my way up in comedy, hopefully when Helium opens I can get some hosting gigs and get paid to tell people about my dick.
So does talking about your little tale ever get you a little tail?

Re: How many Blues fans does it take?

#20
HA...girls love it. Not for nothing...I am not a dick joke guy. I say weird stuff....like "Freddy Krueger saw me naked and now I am not allowed to dream within 500ft of him." I tried to do nothing but clean jokes for a while...and I noticed people were wanting sex jokes.

Come out to Wed Night open mic at Valley Park Funny Bone...bring a date...you will get laid I promise. I have a joke that is worded to make it highly more likely that a girl will be receptive to the old mouth party. Trust me.

Re: How many Blues fans does it take?

#23
Wheelchairs are heavy. I was in Forest Park standing in the Science Center Parking lot when I heard a noise that sounded not unlike a wounded rabbit. I am a GOD DAMN rabbit lover, so I went to investigate. Did I find a rabbit? No. Did I find an electric wheelchair with a 250lb head sitting in it? Yes. "HELP!" This chair was dangling over the highway, a part of me thought...maybe this is GOD's plan, he maketh 250lb heads and he taketh them in mysterious ways. Who am I to argue with GOD? Of course I made the wrong decision and decided to help. Let me make this abundantly clear, electric wheel chairs are heavy when they are empty, and they weigh even more when they are occupied by giant heads with flipper hands and feet. That was the easy part. Now the head is all excited and tell me it's chair is broke and that I must fix it. Have you ever tried to explain to a giant head that you are not a wheel chair repairman? She wanted me to learn. I have no idea why I noticed that her control stick was out of reach from her flipper, but I did. Maybe I am a wheelchair repairman. As fast as I "fixed" this heads chair it took off at full speed, and I think it gave me the middle flipper. I'm not going to call myself a hero, but I sure felt like one.

Imagine this guy wearing a floral moo moo.
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