Shit... you ain't fucked-up enough to make fun of yourself...you don't even have a syndrome named after you yet.CaptSMRT wrote: Sun Oct 13, 2019 4:24 pmI am not get my own cable show fat. I am could have a heart attack from the stress of waking up fat.Turk Sanderson wrote: Sun Oct 13, 2019 3:50 pmIn Illinois you're not fat unless your shadow has a shadow.CaptSMRT wrote: Sun Oct 13, 2019 2:22 pm I'm fat enough to get called fat my entire life....but not fat enough to have a sense of humor about it.
Re: How many Blues fans does it take?
4202Elizabeth Smart had Stockholm Syndrome. Maybe Captain Smart has Jacksonville Syndrome.Turk Sanderson wrote: Sun Oct 13, 2019 5:40 pmShit... you ain't fucked-up enough to make fun of yourself...you don't even have a syndrome named after you yet.
Re: How many Blues fans does it take?
4203Is that what they call getting tarred and feathered these days?JMC-STL wrote: Sun Oct 13, 2019 8:13 pmElizabeth Smart had Stockholm Syndrome. Maybe Captain Smart has Jacksonville Syndrome.Turk Sanderson wrote: Sun Oct 13, 2019 5:40 pmShit... you ain't fucked-up enough to make fun of yourself...you don't even have a syndrome named after you yet.
Re: How many Blues fans does it take?
4204The Cap'n's downfall in Jacksonville appears to have been a simple mistake in choosing a venue. I'll bet his comedy would've been received more enthusiastically at The Illinois School for the Deaf.Turk Sanderson wrote: Sun Oct 13, 2019 8:21 pmIs that what they call getting tarred and feathered these days?JMC-STL wrote: Sun Oct 13, 2019 8:13 pmElizabeth Smart had Stockholm Syndrome. Maybe Captain Smart has Jacksonville Syndrome.Turk Sanderson wrote: Sun Oct 13, 2019 5:40 pmShit... you ain't fucked-up enough to make fun of yourself...you don't even have a syndrome named after you yet.
Re: How many Blues fans does it take?
4205The crowd wasn't bad....and I got paid $65.JMC-STL wrote: Sun Oct 13, 2019 9:39 pmThe Cap'n's downfall in Jacksonville appears to have been a simple mistake in choosing a venue. I'll bet his comedy would've been received more enthusiastically at The Illinois School for the Deaf.Turk Sanderson wrote: Sun Oct 13, 2019 8:21 pmIs that what they call getting tarred and feathered these days?JMC-STL wrote: Sun Oct 13, 2019 8:13 pm
Elizabeth Smart had Stockholm Syndrome. Maybe Captain Smart has Jacksonville Syndrome.
Re: How many Blues fans does it take?
4207A guy at my work told me he was lactose intolerant, so I reported him the HR for racism. Not today, Archie Bunker.
Re: How many Blues fans does it take?
4208When I was a kid I was bullied a lot. One time after taking a particularly bad beating my dad said....why dont you invite them over for pizza
I'm like...so they have more energy to beat me? Why don't I buy them ice cream after they kick my ass again. Why dont I buy them karate lessons too?
My favorite thing people would say....bullies are more afraid you which is why they bully. Beating the shit out of me was just their way of expressing fear.
I'm like...so they have more energy to beat me? Why don't I buy them ice cream after they kick my ass again. Why dont I buy them karate lessons too?
My favorite thing people would say....bullies are more afraid you which is why they bully. Beating the shit out of me was just their way of expressing fear.
Re: How many Blues fans does it take?
4209You were born too soon... today you could have pulled out your hog-leg and dropped that bastard graveyard dead. Couple of years in the big house, and your back on the stage with a whole bunch of new material.CaptSMRT wrote: Tue Oct 15, 2019 3:58 pm When I was a kid I was bullied a lot. One time after taking a particularly bad beating my dad said....why dont you invite them over for pizza
I'm like...so they have more energy to beat me? Why don't I buy them ice cream after they kick my ass again. Why dont I buy them karate lessons too?
My favorite thing people would say....bullies are more afraid you which is why they bully. Beating the shit out of me was just their way of expressing fear.
Re: How many Blues fans does it take?
4210No shit...a guy I went to grade school with was shot in front of his four kids by two road ragers yesterday.Turk Sanderson wrote: Tue Oct 15, 2019 5:05 pmYou were born too soon... today you could have pulled out your hog-leg and dropped that bastard graveyard dead. Couple of years in the big house, and your back on the stage with a whole bunch of new material.CaptSMRT wrote: Tue Oct 15, 2019 3:58 pm When I was a kid I was bullied a lot. One time after taking a particularly bad beating my dad said....why dont you invite them over for pizza
I'm like...so they have more energy to beat me? Why don't I buy them ice cream after they kick my ass again. Why dont I buy them karate lessons too?
My favorite thing people would say....bullies are more afraid you which is why they bully. Beating the shit out of me was just their way of expressing fear.
Re: How many Blues fans does it take?
4211Saw that story, very sad. The Rev needs to start issuing discount certificates for anger management classes. Hot wings included - those always bring out the best in people.CaptSMRT wrote: Tue Oct 15, 2019 7:59 pmNo shit...a guy I went to grade school with was shot in front of his four kids by two road ragers yesterday.
ETA: The suspects look hungry ...
Re: How many Blues fans does it take?
4212He said one of the bullets hit his chest and bounced off...talk about your miracles.JMC-STL wrote: Tue Oct 15, 2019 9:22 pmSaw that story, very sad. The Rev needs to start issuing discount certificates for anger management classes. Hot wings included - those always bring out the best in people.CaptSMRT wrote: Tue Oct 15, 2019 7:59 pmNo shit...a guy I went to grade school with was shot in front of his four kids by two road ragers yesterday.
ETA: The suspects look hungry ...
Suspects.JPG
Re: How many Blues fans does it take?
4213how in the fuck do you shoot someone multiple times and end up with a $20k bond? unreal.
Re: How many Blues fans does it take?
4214Don't you get it? The dude is SUPERMAN!!!CaptSMRT wrote: Tue Oct 15, 2019 10:02 pmHe said one of the bullets hit his chest and bounced off...talk about your miracles.
Re: How many Blues fans does it take?
4215The $20,000 was for "unlawful use of a weapon." Apparently he handed the gun to his brother because he was a better shot.T.C. wrote: Wed Oct 16, 2019 5:38 amhow in the fuck do you shoot someone multiple times and end up with a $20k bond? unreal.
Re: How many Blues fans does it take?
4216I asked a drug addict how they could tell the difference between heroin and fentanyl. He goes..."I can tell because I take crack and turn it back into cocaine."
I'm like...what the fuck does that have to do with my question. That is like a butcher telling you they turn ham back into pigs and that's how he knows this turkey is fresh.
I'm like...what the fuck does that have to do with my question. That is like a butcher telling you they turn ham back into pigs and that's how he knows this turkey is fresh.
Re: How many Blues fans does it take?
4217I was shopping on ebay, and I saw an action camera that was only $1.30. I almost bought it, but i stopped myself when I realized that it was in England.
Re: How many Blues fans does it take?
4218Why would you turn crack back into cocaine?Turk Sanderson wrote: Fri Oct 18, 2019 5:20 pm I was shopping on ebay, and I saw an action camera that was only $1.30. I almost bought it, but i stopped myself when I realized that it was in England.
Re: How many Blues fans does it take?
4219There's whores down on the stroll who turn crack into coke all the time.CaptSMRT wrote: Fri Oct 18, 2019 5:52 pmWhy would you turn crack back into cocaine?Turk Sanderson wrote: Fri Oct 18, 2019 5:20 pm I was shopping on ebay, and I saw an action camera that was only $1.30. I almost bought it, but i stopped myself when I realized that it was in England.
Re: How many Blues fans does it take?
4220Good pointTurk Sanderson wrote: Fri Oct 18, 2019 8:00 pmThere's whores down on the stroll who turn crack into coke all the time.CaptSMRT wrote: Fri Oct 18, 2019 5:52 pmWhy would you turn crack back into cocaine?Turk Sanderson wrote: Fri Oct 18, 2019 5:20 pm I was shopping on ebay, and I saw an action camera that was only $1.30. I almost bought it, but i stopped myself when I realized that it was in England.
Re: How many Blues fans does it take?
4221You two lead such fascinating lives. That's a show.CaptSMRT wrote: Fri Oct 18, 2019 8:09 pmGood pointTurk Sanderson wrote: Fri Oct 18, 2019 8:00 pmThere's whores down on the stroll who turn crack into coke all the time.
Re: How many Blues fans does it take?
4222Would it be gross if you put peanut butter on your dogs butt, so you know they clean it really well?
Re: How many Blues fans does it take?
4223Not as long as you wear a rubber glove. Presuming you were gonna use your hand.CaptSMRT wrote: Sat Oct 19, 2019 7:18 pmWould it be gross if you put peanut butter on your dogs butt, so you know they clean it really well?
Re: How many Blues fans does it take?
4225Peanut butter's too messy... hot sauce should work a lot better.