Re: Branching Out Now, Turk?

9
Turk Sanderson wrote: Wed Oct 31, 2018 9:46 am
JMC-STL wrote: Wed Oct 31, 2018 8:29 am"FIND YOURSELF A DIFFERENT PERCH"? Everyone feels like a fish outta water at Turk's Discount Church.
Back in the concentration camps, I told them Catholics that I'd own them someday.
Your obsession with alleged Papist misdeeds is unhealthy at best. Absolution is just a dark closet, a wired kneeler & a dusty grillwork away. Who needs a discount, when you can pay just 10% for your salvation?

Re: Branching Out Now, Turk?

10
JMC-STL wrote: Wed Oct 31, 2018 10:00 am
Turk Sanderson wrote: Wed Oct 31, 2018 9:46 am
JMC-STL wrote: Wed Oct 31, 2018 8:29 am"FIND YOURSELF A DIFFERENT PERCH"? Everyone feels like a fish outta water at Turk's Discount Church.
Back in the concentration camps, I told them Catholics that I'd own them someday.
Your obsession with alleged Papist misdeeds is unhealthy at best. Absolution is just a dark closet, a wired kneeler & a dusty grillwork away. Who needs a discount, when you can pay just 10% for your salvation?
I only charge 5% and there's no broom closet meetings. The fact that you show up for church is all the absolution that you need. Your children are safe because they are under your supervision at all times.

Re: Branching Out Now, Turk?

11
Turk Sanderson wrote: Wed Oct 31, 2018 10:29 am
JMC-STL wrote: Wed Oct 31, 2018 10:00 am
Turk Sanderson wrote: Wed Oct 31, 2018 9:46 amBack in the concentration camps, I told them Catholics that I'd own them someday.
Your obsession with alleged Papist misdeeds is unhealthy at best. Absolution is just a dark closet, a wired kneeler & a dusty grillwork away. Who needs a discount, when you can pay just 10% for your salvation?
I only charge 5% and there's no broom closet meetings. The fact that you show up for church is all the absolution that you need. Your children are safe because they are under your supervision at all times.
I pray for the lost souls of the children who were under your supervision.

Re: Branching Out Now, Turk?

15
Turk Sanderson wrote: Wed Oct 31, 2018 4:29 pm
JMC-STL wrote: Wed Oct 31, 2018 3:31 pmIs that two different sizes of baptismal pools out front to choose from, or are our eyes being deceived by simple perspective?
When your dunk is over, you get to keep the pool... show me another church that does that!
Church of the Immaculate Backstroke: You get a free stationary pool with every 10,000 Hail Marys. Installation not included.

Re: Branching Out Now, Turk?

16
JMC-STL wrote: Wed Oct 31, 2018 8:18 pm
Turk Sanderson wrote: Wed Oct 31, 2018 4:29 pm
JMC-STL wrote: Wed Oct 31, 2018 3:31 pmIs that two different sizes of baptismal pools out front to choose from, or are our eyes being deceived by simple perspective?
When your dunk is over, you get to keep the pool... show me another church that does that!
Church of the Immaculate Backstroke: You get a free stationary pool with every 10,000 Hail Marys. Installation not included.
We don't do Hail Marys at Turks Discount Church... she's got enough troubles being a virgin and a mother at the same time... she don't need to hear about our problems.

Re: Branching Out Now, Turk?

18
JMC-STL wrote: Tue Nov 06, 2018 1:31 pm
Turk Sanderson wrote: Wed Oct 31, 2018 8:31 pmWe don't do Hail Marys at Turks Discount Church... she's got enough troubles being a virgin and a mother at the same time... she don't need to hear about our problems.
But I thought the BVM had turned her life around, after she made that cameo appearance with Jane on The Cw.
"Holy Mary, Mother of God..." So she's Jesus' mother and God's too??? I'll bet her dad didn't buy that story.