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Re: How many Blues fans does it take?

Posted: Thu Feb 25, 2021 4:23 pm
by CaptSMRT
If angels would rather live on Earth and have sex with humans....how boring is heaven?

Re: How many Blues fans does it take?

Posted: Thu Feb 25, 2021 5:47 pm
by Turk Sanderson
CaptSMRT wrote: Thu Feb 25, 2021 4:23 pm If angels would rather live on Earth and have sex with humans....how boring is heaven?
Rich bastards from the 'burbs drive down to Arsenal Street and pay strumpets for sex.... how boring is their lives?

Re: How many Blues fans does it take?

Posted: Thu Feb 25, 2021 6:54 pm
by JMC-STL
Turk Sanderson wrote: Thu Feb 25, 2021 5:47 pm
CaptSMRT wrote: Thu Feb 25, 2021 4:23 pmIf angels would rather live on Earth and have sex with humans....how boring is heaven?
Rich bastards from the 'burbs drive down to Arsenal Street and pay strumpets for sex.... how boring is their lives?
"strumpets"? Since when did this thread become: "How many Vassals does it take?"??? :?

Re: How many Blues fans does it take?

Posted: Sat Feb 27, 2021 12:25 am
by CaptSMRT
Holy fuck!!! Two people were hit by a car in front of the bar I was at. IU had met the woman....she was super nice and I think her dog got hit too. Fuck man...be careful out there...there are people driving that think life is a video game.

Re: How many Blues fans does it take?

Posted: Sat Feb 27, 2021 1:49 am
by JMC-STL
"Two people were hit by a car in front of the bar I was at." ...

The bartender went outside to see what happened, said: "Neither one of them left me a tip. Karma is a cruel bitch," and went back inside.

I finished my beer, put my wallet on the bar, and left through the back door.

ETA: Damn it, I forgot the punchline ... 'Karma' was the name of the bartender.

I'll keep my day job.

Re: How many Blues fans does it take?

Posted: Sat Feb 27, 2021 8:20 am
by CaptSMRT
JMC-STL wrote: Sat Feb 27, 2021 1:49 am "Two people were hit by a car in front of the bar I was at." ...

The bartender went outside to see what happened, said: "Neither one of them left me a tip. Karma is a cruel bitch," and went back inside.

I finished my beer, put my wallet on the bar, and left through the back door.
No...they were nice people. I had met the woman a few weeks ago. She introduced me to her rescue dog, who was a sweet heart. The look on the guys face...he was walking around saying..."their dead" over and over again...and his wife was crying. This is one of the worst experiences I have ever had.

Re: How many Blues fans does it take?

Posted: Sat Feb 27, 2021 8:21 am
by CaptSMRT
JMC-STL wrote: Sat Feb 27, 2021 1:49 am "Two people were hit by a car in front of the bar I was at." ...

The bartender went outside to see what happened, said: "Neither one of them left me a tip. Karma is a cruel bitch," and went back inside.

I finished my beer, put my wallet on the bar, and left through the back door.
No...they were nice people. I had met the woman a few weeks ago. She introduced me to her rescue dog, who was a sweet heart. The look on the guys face...he was walking around saying..."they're dead" over and over again...and his wife was crying. This is one of the worst experiences I have ever had.

Re: How many Blues fans does it take?

Posted: Sat Feb 27, 2021 8:26 am
by JMC-STL
It's OK to grieve.

Re: How many Blues fans does it take?

Posted: Mon Mar 01, 2021 7:10 am
by CaptSMRT
This year for my birthday I told myself I was going to buy a new car. I never bought it, but it felt good to tell myself I would. I'm my own deadbeat dad.

Re: How many Blues fans does it take?

Posted: Mon Mar 01, 2021 10:02 am
by Turk Sanderson
CaptSMRT wrote: Mon Mar 01, 2021 7:10 am This year for my birthday I told myself I was going to buy a new car. I never bought it, but it felt good to tell myself I would. I'm my own deadbeat dad.
Well, I hope that you spent that car money on alcohol and prostitutes, and didn't squander it on bills.

Re: How many Blues fans does it take?

Posted: Mon Mar 01, 2021 11:27 am
by CaptSMRT
Turk Sanderson wrote: Mon Mar 01, 2021 10:02 am
CaptSMRT wrote: Mon Mar 01, 2021 7:10 am This year for my birthday I told myself I was going to buy a new car. I never bought it, but it felt good to tell myself I would. I'm my own deadbeat dad.
Well, I hope that you spent that car money on alcohol and prostitutes, and didn't squander it on bills.
I'm too German to buy prostitutes.

Re: How many Blues fans does it take?

Posted: Mon Mar 01, 2021 11:32 am
by JMC-STL
CaptSMRT wrote: Mon Mar 01, 2021 11:27 am
Turk Sanderson wrote: Mon Mar 01, 2021 10:02 am
CaptSMRT wrote: Mon Mar 01, 2021 7:10 amThis year for my birthday I told myself I was going to buy a new car. I never bought it, but it felt good to tell myself I would. I'm my own deadbeat dad.
Well, I hope that you spent that car money on alcohol and prostitutes, and didn't squander it on bills.
I'm too German to buy prostitutes.
Congratulations, you passed Maury's Paternity Test. You clearly don't know the difference between "deadbeat" and "tough love."

Re: How many Blues fans does it take?

Posted: Wed Mar 03, 2021 1:53 pm
by CaptSMRT
I was reading about how there is going to be a black Superman, and someone replied "How would you feel if they made Shaft white". I considered the idea and thought....you could make Shaft white...but he wouldn't be cool and nobody would watch.

Who is the White Private Dick, who is a shoulder to cry on for all the chicks? His theme would be played by Tears for Fears.

Re: How many Blues fans does it take?

Posted: Wed Mar 03, 2021 2:05 pm
by Turk Sanderson
CaptSMRT wrote: Wed Mar 03, 2021 1:53 pm I was reading about how there is going to be a black Superman, and someone replied "How would you feel if they made Shaft white". I considered the idea and thought....you could make Shaft white...but he wouldn't be cool and nobody would watch.

Who is the White Private Dick, who is a shoulder to cry on for all the chicks? His theme would be played by Tears for Fears.
Who's gonna play white Shaft, Julian, or J-Roc?

Re: How many Blues fans does it take?

Posted: Wed Mar 03, 2021 4:10 pm
by CaptSMRT
Turk Sanderson wrote: Wed Mar 03, 2021 2:05 pm
CaptSMRT wrote: Wed Mar 03, 2021 1:53 pm I was reading about how there is going to be a black Superman, and someone replied "How would you feel if they made Shaft white". I considered the idea and thought....you could make Shaft white...but he wouldn't be cool and nobody would watch.

Who is the White Private Dick, who is a shoulder to cry on for all the chicks? His theme would be played by Tears for Fears.
Who's gonna play white Shaft, Julian, or J-Roc?
Ed Begley Jr

Re: How many Blues fans does it take?

Posted: Wed Mar 03, 2021 6:53 pm
by Turk Sanderson
CaptSMRT wrote: Wed Mar 03, 2021 4:10 pm
Turk Sanderson wrote: Wed Mar 03, 2021 2:05 pm
CaptSMRT wrote: Wed Mar 03, 2021 1:53 pm I was reading about how there is going to be a black Superman, and someone replied "How would you feel if they made Shaft white". I considered the idea and thought....you could make Shaft white...but he wouldn't be cool and nobody would watch.

Who is the White Private Dick, who is a shoulder to cry on for all the chicks? His theme would be played by Tears for Fears.
Who's gonna play white Shaft, Julian, or J-Roc?
Ed Begley Jr
Might as well get Bubbles

Re: How many Blues fans does it take?

Posted: Thu Mar 04, 2021 7:02 am
by CaptSMRT
The Pandemic has made me miss going to restaurants so much I have started putting lip stick on my glasses at home, so I can complain and ask for a clean one.

Re: How many Blues fans does it take?

Posted: Thu Mar 04, 2021 10:19 am
by Turk Sanderson
CaptSMRT wrote: Thu Mar 04, 2021 7:02 am The Pandemic has made me miss going to restaurants so much I have started putting lip stick on my glasses at home, so I can complain and ask for a clean one.
Was that cockroach in your salad part of your Pandemic ritual, or would it have been there anyway?

Re: How many Blues fans does it take?

Posted: Thu Mar 04, 2021 1:07 pm
by CaptSMRT
Turk Sanderson wrote: Thu Mar 04, 2021 10:19 am
CaptSMRT wrote: Thu Mar 04, 2021 7:02 am The Pandemic has made me miss going to restaurants so much I have started putting lip stick on my glasses at home, so I can complain and ask for a clean one.
Was that cockroach in your salad part of your Pandemic ritual, or would it have been there anyway?
I was happy to have some company.

Re: How many Blues fans does it take?

Posted: Thu Mar 04, 2021 1:10 pm
by CaptSMRT
Hand sanitizer is bullshit...I tried to kill a cricket with some and all he did was get drunk. Now I have to have an intervention for a cricket.

Re: How many Blues fans does it take?

Posted: Thu Mar 04, 2021 1:19 pm
by CaptSMRT
Dr Seuss had a dark side

Re: How many Blues fans does it take?

Posted: Thu Mar 04, 2021 1:33 pm
by Turk Sanderson
CaptSMRT wrote: Thu Mar 04, 2021 1:10 pm Hand sanitizer is bullshit...I tried to kill a cricket with some and all he did was get drunk. Now I have to have an intervention for a cricket.
A drunken cricket makes the same sounds as playing Beatles records backwards.

Re: How many Blues fans does it take?

Posted: Thu Mar 04, 2021 3:07 pm
by CaptSMRT
Turk Sanderson wrote: Thu Mar 04, 2021 1:33 pm
CaptSMRT wrote: Thu Mar 04, 2021 1:10 pm Hand sanitizer is bullshit...I tried to kill a cricket with some and all he did was get drunk. Now I have to have an intervention for a cricket.
A drunken cricket makes the same sounds as playing Beatles records backwards.
A drunken cricket doesn't care if you like his tweets!!!

Re: How many Blues fans does it take?

Posted: Thu Mar 04, 2021 9:43 pm
by JMC-STL
Turk Sanderson wrote: Thu Mar 04, 2021 1:33 pm
CaptSMRT wrote: Thu Mar 04, 2021 1:10 pmHand sanitizer is bullshit...I tried to kill a cricket with some and all he did was get drunk. Now I have to have an intervention for a cricket.
A drunken cricket makes the same sounds as playing Beatles records backwards.
"I'm............very............small............"

Re: How many Blues fans does it take?

Posted: Sun Mar 07, 2021 6:34 pm
by CaptSMRT
JMC-STL wrote: Thu Mar 04, 2021 9:43 pm
Turk Sanderson wrote: Thu Mar 04, 2021 1:33 pm
CaptSMRT wrote: Thu Mar 04, 2021 1:10 pmHand sanitizer is bullshit...I tried to kill a cricket with some and all he did was get drunk. Now I have to have an intervention for a cricket.
A drunken cricket makes the same sounds as playing Beatles records backwards.
"I'm............very............small............"
Drunken crickets think they are all Zen and tell you desire is the root of all suffering...and all you want them to do is shut up, so they are right.