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Re: How many Blues fans does it take?

Posted: Thu Nov 07, 2019 6:58 pm
by Turk Sanderson
JMC-STL wrote:
Thu Nov 07, 2019 6:54 pm
Turk Sanderson wrote:
Thu Nov 07, 2019 6:00 pm
JMC-STL wrote:
Thu Nov 07, 2019 5:30 pm

Do you offer high colonics at a reduced rate with that thing?
We got some outdated Ex-lax in the hidden storeroom.
I think some of those spoiled bottles of Massengill would do a better job cuttin' through my blockage right now. Be sure they come with applicators.
Calvin has some Scotch Bonnet wings ... a few of them and you can shit through a screen door.

Re: How many Blues fans does it take?

Posted: Thu Nov 07, 2019 8:38 pm
by CaptSMRT
Turk Sanderson wrote:
Thu Nov 07, 2019 6:58 pm
JMC-STL wrote:
Thu Nov 07, 2019 6:54 pm
Turk Sanderson wrote:
Thu Nov 07, 2019 6:00 pm

We got some outdated Ex-lax in the hidden storeroom.
I think some of those spoiled bottles of Massengill would do a better job cuttin' through my blockage right now. Be sure they come with applicators.
Calvin has some Scotch Bonnet wings ... a few of them and you can shit through a screen door.
You need fresh garlic...get some broth boiling...then mash up a bulb of garlic into a paste...turn off the heat and throw in the garlic...let sit and drink when it has cooled down. That will open you up.

Re: How many Blues fans does it take?

Posted: Thu Nov 07, 2019 8:51 pm
by Turk Sanderson
CaptSMRT wrote:
Thu Nov 07, 2019 8:38 pm
Turk Sanderson wrote:
Thu Nov 07, 2019 6:58 pm
JMC-STL wrote:
Thu Nov 07, 2019 6:54 pm

I think some of those spoiled bottles of Massengill would do a better job cuttin' through my blockage right now. Be sure they come with applicators.
Calvin has some Scotch Bonnet wings ... a few of them and you can shit through a screen door.
You need fresh garlic...get some broth boiling...then mash up a bulb of garlic into a paste...turn off the heat and throw in the garlic...let sit and drink when it has cooled down. That will open you up.
You forgot the eye-of-newt, and the monkey’s paw.

Re: How many Blues fans does it take?

Posted: Thu Nov 07, 2019 9:56 pm
by CaptSMRT
Turk Sanderson wrote:
Thu Nov 07, 2019 8:51 pm
CaptSMRT wrote:
Thu Nov 07, 2019 8:38 pm
Turk Sanderson wrote:
Thu Nov 07, 2019 6:58 pm


Calvin has some Scotch Bonnet wings ... a few of them and you can shit through a screen door.
You need fresh garlic...get some broth boiling...then mash up a bulb of garlic into a paste...turn off the heat and throw in the garlic...let sit and drink when it has cooled down. That will open you up.
You forgot the eye-of-newt, and the monkey’s paw.
Fresh parsley...and oregano would be nice too.

Re: How many Blues fans does it take?

Posted: Fri Nov 08, 2019 8:36 am
by JMC-STL
CaptSMRT wrote:
Thu Nov 07, 2019 9:56 pm
Fresh parsley...and oregano would be nice too.
Me 'n' Mrs. JMC rolled & smoked our stashes of those two ingredients. Read in our back issues of Whole Earth Catalog that it'd cure our glaucoma.

Re: How many Blues fans does it take?

Posted: Mon Nov 11, 2019 10:25 pm
by CaptSMRT
Do you think the makers of the Douchebag have considered re-branding due to being associated with bad people?

Re: How many Blues fans does it take?

Posted: Mon Nov 11, 2019 11:20 pm
by Turk Sanderson
CaptSMRT wrote:
Mon Nov 11, 2019 10:25 pm
Do you think the makers of the Douchebag have considered re-branding due to being associated with bad people?
They could rename them Mikesmiths

Re: How many Blues fans does it take?

Posted: Tue Nov 12, 2019 7:01 am
by CaptSMRT
Turk Sanderson wrote:
Mon Nov 11, 2019 11:20 pm
CaptSMRT wrote:
Mon Nov 11, 2019 10:25 pm
Do you think the makers of the Douchebag have considered re-branding due to being associated with bad people?
They could rename them Mikesmiths
Ham washer

Re: How many Blues fans does it take?

Posted: Tue Nov 12, 2019 10:06 am
by JMC-STL
CaptSMRT wrote:
Mon Nov 11, 2019 10:25 pm
Do you think the makers of the Douchebag have considered re-branding due to being associated with bad people?
Why do you ask? Are you planning to use "Douchebag" as your new stage name? You'd probably get a chuckle outta Paul with that one.

Re: How many Blues fans does it take?

Posted: Tue Nov 12, 2019 11:14 am
by CaptSMRT
JMC-STL wrote:
Tue Nov 12, 2019 10:06 am
CaptSMRT wrote:
Mon Nov 11, 2019 10:25 pm
Do you think the makers of the Douchebag have considered re-branding due to being associated with bad people?
Why do you ask? Are you planning to use "Douchebag" as your new stage name? You'd probably get a chuckle outta Paul with that one.
Apparently Paul's hobby is going to comedy shows, sitting in the front row, and glaring the whole time...he said he enjoyed the show a lot and can't wait for us to come back.

Aside from you needing to irrigate your colostomy bag, who else is buying douchebags these days? Millennials don't use them...which is probably why they like licking each others asses.

Re: How many Blues fans does it take?

Posted: Tue Nov 12, 2019 5:57 pm
by JMC-STL
CaptSMRT wrote:
Tue Nov 12, 2019 11:14 am
... Aside from you needing to irrigate your colostomy bag ...
For which I use cheap vodka. But go on,

Re: How many Blues fans does it take?

Posted: Tue Nov 12, 2019 6:17 pm
by Turk Sanderson
CaptSMRT wrote:
Tue Nov 12, 2019 11:14 am
JMC-STL wrote:
Tue Nov 12, 2019 10:06 am
CaptSMRT wrote:
Mon Nov 11, 2019 10:25 pm
Do you think the makers of the Douchebag have considered re-branding due to being associated with bad people?
Why do you ask? Are you planning to use "Douchebag" as your new stage name? You'd probably get a chuckle outta Paul with that one.
Apparently Paul's hobby is going to comedy shows, sitting in the front row, and glaring the whole time...he said he enjoyed the show a lot and can't wait for us to come back.

Aside from you needing to irrigate your colostomy bag, who else is buying douchebags these days? Millennials don't use them...which is probably why they like licking each others asses.
No, they don't like licking each other's asses... it's just that that's their only protein source since they have to pay for the Trump tax cuts.

Re: How many Blues fans does it take?

Posted: Tue Nov 12, 2019 7:58 pm
by JMC-STL
Turk Sanderson wrote:
Tue Nov 12, 2019 6:17 pm
CaptSMRT wrote:
Tue Nov 12, 2019 11:14 am
... Millennials don't use them...which is probably why they like licking each others asses.
No, they don't like licking each other's asses... it's just that that's their only protein source since they have to pay for the Trump tax cuts.
Always getting your own licks in, eh Rev?

Re: How many Blues fans does it take?

Posted: Wed Nov 13, 2019 6:25 am
by CaptSMRT
JMC-STL wrote:
Tue Nov 12, 2019 7:58 pm
Turk Sanderson wrote:
Tue Nov 12, 2019 6:17 pm
CaptSMRT wrote:
Tue Nov 12, 2019 11:14 am
... Millennials don't use them...which is probably why they like licking each others asses.
No, they don't like licking each other's asses... it's just that that's their only protein source since they have to pay for the Trump tax cuts.
Always getting your own licks in, eh Rev?
You two need to get out more....millennials eat ass like JMC eats ZOO popcorn, by the heaping handful.

Re: How many Blues fans does it take?

Posted: Wed Nov 13, 2019 7:54 am
by JMC-STL
CaptSMRT wrote:
Wed Nov 13, 2019 6:25 am
You two need to get out more....millennials eat ass like JMC eats ZOO popcorn, by the heaping handful.
Why, I'll have you know ... Mrs. JMC hangs the bucket under my chin, so I can enjoy my popcorn hands-free while she pushes me around that ZOO & I point where I wanna go next.

Re: How many Blues fans does it take?

Posted: Wed Nov 13, 2019 11:53 am
by CaptSMRT
JMC-STL wrote:
Wed Nov 13, 2019 7:54 am
CaptSMRT wrote:
Wed Nov 13, 2019 6:25 am
You two need to get out more....millennials eat ass like JMC eats ZOO popcorn, by the heaping handful.
Why, I'll have you know ... Mrs. JMC hangs the bucket under my chin, so I can enjoy my popcorn hands-free while she pushes me around that ZOO & I point where I wanna go next.
This is probably closer to the truth than anyone wants to realize.

Re: How many Blues fans does it take?

Posted: Wed Nov 13, 2019 2:22 pm
by JMC-STL
CaptSMRT wrote:
Wed Nov 13, 2019 11:53 am
JMC-STL wrote:
Wed Nov 13, 2019 7:54 am
CaptSMRT wrote:
Wed Nov 13, 2019 6:25 am
You two need to get out more....millennials eat ass like JMC eats ZOO popcorn, by the heaping handful.
Why, I'll have you know ... Mrs. JMC hangs the bucket under my chin, so I can enjoy my popcorn hands-free while she pushes me around that ZOO & I point where I wanna go next.
This is probably closer to the truth than anyone wants to realize.
I've been told we present a very striking portrait of undying love & marital commitment. But I gave the guy some popcorn before he said it. That makes me a great husband AND a philanthropist.

Re: How many Blues fans does it take?

Posted: Wed Nov 13, 2019 4:02 pm
by CaptSMRT
Plan B is the abortion pill. What is plan A...dirty laundry and your mothers picture sitting on a unsecured pile of pornography?

Re: How many Blues fans does it take?

Posted: Thu Nov 14, 2019 12:49 am
by CaptSMRT

Re: How many Blues fans does it take?

Posted: Thu Nov 14, 2019 2:10 am
by JMC-STL
CaptSMRT wrote:
Wed Nov 13, 2019 4:02 pm
... your mothers picture sitting on a unsecured pile of pornography?
How, exactly, would one go about securing a pile of pornography? Fur-lined leather cuffs? Just asking for a friend.

Re: How many Blues fans does it take?

Posted: Thu Nov 14, 2019 7:07 am
by CaptSMRT
JMC-STL wrote:
Thu Nov 14, 2019 2:10 am
CaptSMRT wrote:
Wed Nov 13, 2019 4:02 pm
... your mothers picture sitting on a unsecured pile of pornography?
How, exactly, would one go about securing a pile of pornography? Fur-lined leather cuffs? Just asking for a friend.
That is probably a good start....heh.


Re: How many Blues fans does it take?

Posted: Fri Nov 15, 2019 7:15 am
by CaptSMRT
I don't think millennials have what it takes to be real racists, they'd want a trophy for spitting near a minority.

Re: How many Blues fans does it take?

Posted: Fri Nov 15, 2019 3:37 pm
by CaptSMRT
No comments about the amount of laughter in my last clip?

Re: How many Blues fans does it take?

Posted: Fri Nov 15, 2019 9:36 pm
by JMC-STL
CaptSMRT wrote:
Fri Nov 15, 2019 3:37 pm
No comments about the amount of laughter in my last clip?
THAT'S what the sound was? I thought your audience were all vapers & they were coughing up their scarred lung tissue. :?

Re: How many Blues fans does it take?

Posted: Fri Nov 15, 2019 10:54 pm
by CaptSMRT
JMC-STL wrote:
Fri Nov 15, 2019 9:36 pm
CaptSMRT wrote:
Fri Nov 15, 2019 3:37 pm
No comments about the amount of laughter in my last clip?
THAT'S what the sound was? I thought your audience were all vapers & they were coughing up their scarred lung tissue. :?
To be fair...it was a very whoreish crowd.