Blues News Forum

Posted: **Thu Oct 29, 2015 8:12 am**

CaptSMRT wrote:
CaptSMRT wrote:I'll be at the Corner Keg in Highland...hopefully some of these IL hicks will come out for some jokes about sex with E.T.
Holy shit...what a nightmare. I fucking hate bar comedy.

I'm sure your audience was moved to equal emotion. Stick to the street corners. Saw a guy last week with a snare drum set at the W. Florissant exit stoplight off eastbound I-270. Gotta admire the buskers with imagination.

Posted: **Thu Oct 29, 2015 11:06 am**

JMC-STL wrote:
CaptSMRT wrote:
CaptSMRT wrote:I'll be at the Corner Keg in Highland...hopefully some of these IL hicks will come out for some jokes about sex with E.T.
Holy shit...what a nightmare. I fucking hate bar comedy.
I'm sure your audience was moved to equal emotion. Stick to the street corners. Saw a guy last week with a snare drum set at the W. Florissant exit stoplight off eastbound I-270. Gotta admire the buskers with imagination.

Bar comedy sucks...nobody gives a shit. I don't have any problems making people laugh in the club. Buskers are bums with enough money to buy soup.

Posted: **Thu Oct 29, 2015 12:02 pm**

CaptSMRT wrote:... Buskers are bums with enough money to buy soup.

Nothing wrong with soup. It's Penicillin for the Soul. You can also swipe a handful of those goldfish crackers from the bowl on the bar to give it some texture.

Posted: **Thu Oct 29, 2015 3:02 pm**

JMC-STL wrote:
CaptSMRT wrote:... Buskers are bums with enough money to buy soup.
Nothing wrong with soup. It's Penicillin for the Soul. You can also swipe a handful of those goldfish crackers from the bowl on the bar to give it some texture.

Bars don't do that any more. Get in your time machine and come back from 1970.

Posted: **Thu Oct 29, 2015 4:45 pm**

CaptSMRT wrote:
JMC-STL wrote:
CaptSMRT wrote:... Buskers are bums with enough money to buy soup.
Nothing wrong with soup. It's Penicillin for the Soul. You can also swipe a handful of those goldfish crackers from the bowl on the bar to give it some texture.
Bars don't do that any more. Get in your time machine and come back from 1970.

So how does BEER NUTS® stay in business? It's a crazy world, this 21 Century of yours.

Posted: **Thu Oct 29, 2015 5:01 pm**

JMC-STL wrote:
CaptSMRT wrote:
JMC-STL wrote: Nothing wrong with soup. It's Penicillin for the Soul. You can also swipe a handful of those goldfish crackers from the bowl on the bar to give it some texture.
Bars don't do that any more. Get in your time machine and come back from 1970.
So how does BEER NUTS® stay in business? It's a crazy world, this 21 Century of yours.

So Obama can take your guns.

Posted: **Fri Oct 30, 2015 11:41 am**

Keaton, Bale, Wilson, Kilmer, Clooney, West, and now Ron Finger, I might be biased, but I think I was the best out of all of them.

Posted: **Fri Nov 13, 2015 1:36 am**

I fucking bombed last night. I mean screeching, tires flying off, the baby just got flushed down the toilet, and grandma works for ISIS bombed.

Tonight I wasn't great but I pulled out of the dive. Comedy is hard.

Posted: **Thu Nov 19, 2015 5:16 pm**

I had to re-evaluate my relationship with Jesus, he isn't returning my texts, and I am sleeping in his crawl space. I know he sees me, the last time I went to church they served me with a restraining order.

Posted: **Fri Nov 20, 2015 12:42 am**

Stick to secular humor, Capt. It's closer to home for you AND for your audiences.

Posted: **Fri Nov 20, 2015 1:22 am**

JMC-STL wrote:Stick to secular humor, Capt. It's closer to home for you AND for your audiences.

I opened with a story about getting an IUD put in my ass...a person from the crowd asked me if I could be more disgusting next time.

Posted: **Fri Nov 20, 2015 5:54 pm**

CaptSMRT wrote:
JMC-STL wrote:Stick to secular humor, Capt. It's closer to home for you AND for your audiences.
I opened with a story about getting an IUD put in my ass...a person from the crowd asked me if I could be more disgusting next time.

Well, can you?

Posted: **Fri Nov 20, 2015 11:11 pm**

JMC-STL wrote:
CaptSMRT wrote:
JMC-STL wrote:Stick to secular humor, Capt. It's closer to home for you AND for your audiences.
I opened with a story about getting an IUD put in my ass...a person from the crowd asked me if I could be more disgusting next time.
Well, can you?

I think tomorrow night I am going %100 Adele material. Pity fucking Adele generates more revenue than the GDP of Honduras.

Posted: **Sun Nov 22, 2015 12:11 am**

Refugee is a fancy word for Globally poor person...or Globo

Posted: **Mon Nov 23, 2015 6:48 am**

CaptSMRT wrote:I think tomorrow night I am going %100 Adele material. Pity fucking Adele generates more revenue than the GDP of Honduras.

Prophetic words for the two of you ...
"It's no secret that the both of us
Are running out of time ..."

Posted: **Mon Nov 23, 2015 7:12 am**

JMC-STL wrote:
CaptSMRT wrote:I think tomorrow night I am going %100 Adele material. Pity fucking Adele generates more revenue than the GDP of Honduras.
Prophetic words for the two of you ...
"It's no secret that the both of us
Are running out of time ..."

I don't think anyone even knew who Adele was...which is probably my fault too.

Posted: **Mon Nov 23, 2015 7:54 am**

CaptSMRT wrote:I don't think anyone even knew who Adele was...which is probably my fault too.

You needed to save that bit for your next gig in The Grove. I hear Adele is the new King of Pop in the LGBTI community.

Posted: **Mon Nov 23, 2015 11:39 am**

JMC-STL wrote:
CaptSMRT wrote:I don't think anyone even knew who Adele was...which is probably my fault too.
You needed to save that bit for your next gig in The Grove. I hear Adele is the new King of Pop in the LGBTI community.

The crowds favorite moment of the night...when I said I wanted E.T. to give me a prostate massage.

Posted: **Mon Nov 23, 2015 11:58 am**

CaptSMRT wrote:The crowds favorite moment of the night...when I said I wanted E.T. to give me a prostate massage.

Finally, a thinking man's joke. I like it.

Posted: **Mon Nov 23, 2015 12:17 pm**

JMC-STL wrote:
CaptSMRT wrote:The crowds favorite moment of the night...when I said I wanted E.T. to give me a prostate massage.
Finally, a thinking man's joke. I like it.

You have to make a connection with the audience.

Posted: **Mon Nov 23, 2015 12:26 pm**

CaptSMRT wrote:
JMC-STL wrote:
CaptSMRT wrote:The crowds favorite moment of the night...when I said I wanted E.T. to give me a prostate massage.
Finally, a thinking man's joke. I like it.
You have to make a connection with the audience.

Just what my proctologist told me last week.

Posted: **Mon Nov 23, 2015 12:51 pm**

JMC-STL wrote:
CaptSMRT wrote:
JMC-STL wrote: Finally, a thinking man's joke. I like it.
You have to make a connection with the audience.
Just what my proctologist told me last week.

One in a million shot Doc.

Posted: **Mon Nov 23, 2015 1:56 pm**

CaptSMRT wrote:One in a million shot Doc.

frank-costanza-meets-the-fusilli-jerry[1].jpg Viewed 18301 times 13.92 KiB

Posted: **Mon Nov 23, 2015 4:16 pm**

fusilli. you know...because you're silly

Posted: **Mon Nov 23, 2015 7:15 pm**

The Blues look tired and sloppy.

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