Re: How many Blues fans does it take?

#102
JMC-STL wrote:
CaptSMRT wrote:... I waited for ten minutes, when I didn't hear anyone say cut I jumped out a window. I do my own stunts.
So are you actually Tom Cruise, under an assumed SMRT-ness?!

I serve a higher power.

Apparently yelling "skin that smoke wagon" isn't how you defuse a hostage crisis. Looks like I won't be joining the Police Force.

Re: How many Blues fans does it take?

#104
JMC-STL wrote:
CaptSMRT wrote:... Apparently yelling "skin that smoke wagon" isn't how you defuse a hostage crisis. Looks like I won't be joining the Police Force.
I hear some departments have a hiring quota for people like you with dyslexia.
I have a bigot in my neighborhood, so I built a non flammable cross in his front yard.

Re: How many Blues fans does it take?

#105
I saw a wheel chair hanging over highway 40 by the Science Center...certain death had it fallen.
I walk down to the chair...and in it...was a 250lb torso with eyes and flipper hands/feet...wearing a floral moomoo, and had a flipper mouth too, like a Muppet. I carry the wheel chair with the head Up a hill...and set her on the walking path, then she starts talking about how her wheel chair is broken and I have to fix it. when I say talking...I mean repeating over and over "fix my chair"...eyes rolling around...mouth flapping. Despite the fact that I am not a wheelchair repairman, I noticed that the control stick was too far from her flipper, so I tilted it over and she took off...and gave me the finger. True story.
Last edited by CaptSMRT on Wed Dec 16, 2015 11:43 am, edited 1 time in total.

Re: How many Blues fans does it take?

#107
JMC-STL wrote:How did you determine it was a "her"? And how does such a creature with flippers give you the finger? No wonder you play to tough crowds.
You don't think I can recognize when someone shines the middle flipper at me? It was a her because I feel like a male torso could have either successfully committed suicide or fixed his own chair.

Re: How many Blues fans does it take?

#109
One day I was standing in front of Planned Parenthood, it was a cold day. I noticed a man in a wheelchair waiting for the crossing light to change. Disabled people do not like special treatment, so I ignored him like I would do to anyone. Before the light changes he rolls his wheelchair off of the sidewalk and gets it wedged in a hole. You would think that a wheelchair would have some escape velocity, who would need it more, am I right, they don't have it though. So I am faced with a dilemma: has this persons peril exceeded the normal limitations of the casual indifference of society? I thought it had. I ask the guy is he needs help, he can't even talk. The only thing he is capable of saying is "Ehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh". I start trying to move the chair, and I can't get it out of the hole. I didn't want him to get hurt and risk become more disabled. I had to ask him a question that I knew the answer to; "Can you walk?" I pick him up and lean him against the light post. I free the chair and place him back in it. Then we wait for the light to change, and he crosses the road. When he is driving away he flips me off, and I notice a bumper sticker on his chair, which says "Keep Abortion Legal" I think disabled people hate me.

Re: How many Blues fans does it take?

#116
CaptSMRT wrote:
bradleygt89 wrote:My wife said that men who are scared of empowered women have small dicks. I told her that cannot be true. There are no women in the Empire.
FYI...I love empowered women.
That's not the only sign of a small dick. But thanks for sharing your preferences.

Re: How many Blues fans does it take?

#117
JMC-STL wrote:
CaptSMRT wrote:
bradleygt89 wrote:My wife said that men who are scared of empowered women have small dicks. I told her that cannot be true. There are no women in the Empire.
FYI...I love empowered women.
That's not the only sign of a small dick. But thanks for sharing your preferences.

"Well, actually, nobody on this planet ever really chooses each other. I mean, it's all a question of quantum physics, molecular attraction, and timing. " -

Re: How many Blues fans does it take?

#120
CaptSMRT wrote:If all of GOD's creations are perfect, why did he kill the Dinosaurs? I bet it was because he saw a few sucking each others dicks, it had to happen because their arms are too small to jerk off.
speaking of 'dick sucking' this lady has a lot of fantasies about 'middle eastern's who hate middle eastern's' doing just that...LMAO. Scary, but fucking hilarious (you should be able to find tons of material in this video ;) ).

[youtube][/youtube]

Re: How many Blues fans does it take?

#122
CaptSMRT wrote:
JMC-STL wrote:
CaptSMRT wrote:If all of GOD's creations are perfect, why did he kill the Dinosaurs? ...
He said we're all perfect, not immune.
Are you saying that the Dinosaurs died of AIDS?
Could've been a combination of several deadly communicable diseases, a witch's brew intended to cleanse the Earth of despicably bestial behavior. Rumor has it that Anita Bryant was somehow involved in the extinction process.
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