Re: How many Blues fans does it take?
151Some people say the way to a mans heart is through his stomach, my grandmother always said the way to a mans heart is around his urethra.
Re: How many Blues fans does it take?
152Started vaping Flintstones vitamins today, yabba dabba don't do that. Now I have a kidney stone in my lungs.
Re: How many Blues fans does it take?
153Do you suddenly crave Brontosaurus Burgers?CaptSMRT wrote:Started vaping Flintstones vitamins today, yabba dabba don't do that. Now I have a kidney stone in my lungs.
Re: How many Blues fans does it take?
154What do you mean suddenly? I have a healthy love of dinosaur meats.Turk Sanderson wrote:Do you suddenly crave Brontosaurus Burgers?CaptSMRT wrote:Started vaping Flintstones vitamins today, yabba dabba don't do that. Now I have a kidney stone in my lungs.
Re: How many Blues fans does it take?
155GOD took time out of creating the Universe to make me bald...jerk!
Re: How many Blues fans does it take?
156"Celebrities always die in threes" - Serial Killer who kills celebrities three at a time
Re: How many Blues fans does it take?
157Don't blame God, you're the one smoking F&BsCaptSMRT wrote:GOD took time out of creating the Universe to make me bald...jerk!
Re: How many Blues fans does it take?
158My favorite religious holiday is St Patrick's day, the day when Jesus got drunk as shit and fucked a bunch of ugly women, which is also the story of how white people were created.
Re: How many Blues fans does it take?
159Asked my Dr if my heart was strong enough for sex, he said my toes weren't strong enough, and then snapped me with a towel.
Re: How many Blues fans does it take?
160wouldn't you have to carve a hole through your sternum for that?
Re: How many Blues fans does it take?
161What is the funniest part of RAMBO? The end when he cries...pussy.
Re: How many Blues fans does it take?
162I did this joke on stage last night and it was liberating. I know how Eagles feel when they look down for something to shit on.
"You ever fuck a woman so tall when you climb up to the pussy your dick get a nose bleed?" - My dick doing his Richard Pryor impersonation
Re: How many Blues fans does it take?
163"The Supreme court supports a women's right to kill anyone named Steve."
- Roe vs Steve, 1975.
- Roe vs Steve, 1975.
Re: How many Blues fans does it take?
164I had a Tinder date with a girl who has a lazy eye...she never showed up. I guess she could have taken a wrong turn.
Re: How many Blues fans does it take?
165There was an albino on the bus today with a birds nest on his head, I asked him if I could touch it, he said no, it will give me lice.
Re: How many Blues fans does it take?
166Is it ironic that the "Fat Boys" all died before the obesity epidemic? They were ahead of their time.
Re: How many Blues fans does it take?
167I realized my entire life has been one big magic trick. I took 300lbs of pizza and turned it into a giant asshole.
Re: How many Blues fans does it take?
168If my life were a book, it would be published on toilet paper.
Re: How many Blues fans does it take?
169and written in braille...CaptSMRT wrote:If my life were a book, it would be published on toilet paper.
Re: How many Blues fans does it take?
170Turk Sanderson wrote:and written in braille...CaptSMRT wrote:If my life were a book, it would be published on toilet paper.
Extra grip to give it that rip.
Re: How many Blues fans does it take?
171"Thank you, Larry Bird...all the way from French Lick." - Me to a Heckler. He wasn't even a good heckler...all he did was sigh or say "that was better"
If you are going to heckle...put some effort into it.
If you are going to heckle...put some effort into it.
Re: How many Blues fans does it take?
172That being said....probably one of the worst come backs of all time. I can own that.
Re: How many Blues fans does it take?
173Today is my sons twenty third birthday. Happy birthday to Doug. Also, my son is really alcoholism. Did I ever tell you about the time Doug bought me a prostitute? She charged $4 for a blowjob, Doug loves a bargain. We went behind the dumpster, and she didn't suck my dick, she did hit me in the head with a hammer. It was a good thing Doug was there...nothing cools off a hammer attack like a cool Budweiser.
Re: How many Blues fans does it take?
174You and Doug should have known that a $4 hummer was too cheap. If a deal sounds too good to be true, it usually is. You get what you pay for.CaptSMRT wrote:Today is my sons twenty third birthday. Happy birthday to Doug. Also, my son is really alcoholism. Did I ever tell you about the time Doug bought me a prostitute? She charged $4 for a blowjob, Doug loves a bargain. We went behind the dumpster, and she didn't suck my dick, she did hit me in the head with a hammer. It was a good thing Doug was there...nothing cools off a hammer attack like a cool Budweiser.
Re: How many Blues fans does it take?
175Turk Sanderson wrote:You and Doug should have known that a $4 hummer was too cheap. If a deal sounds too good to be true, it usually is. You get what you pay for.CaptSMRT wrote:Today is my sons twenty third birthday. Happy birthday to Doug. Also, my son is really alcoholism. Did I ever tell you about the time Doug bought me a prostitute? She charged $4 for a blowjob, Doug loves a bargain. We went behind the dumpster, and she didn't suck my dick, she did hit me in the head with a hammer. It was a good thing Doug was there...nothing cools off a hammer attack like a cool Budweiser.
Doug has tunnel vision when it comes to prostitutes. This is kind of a true story....except it was this kid James that works at a skating rink.